For criticism, can you discern lies from truth?

This blog ends with a meditation that includes this type of prayer... does it speak to you?  

• "Jesus I keep distant from you and others, because I think I'm a failure in your eyes and in eyes of others.  I am constantly thinking that I am not living up to the standards or expectations of you or others.  I do not handle criticism well; and don't know how to separate the voices of others from yours.  I have the voice of an accuser in my soul.  Please help me separate the voice of the liar from the voice of the Father.  Heal my soul.  Help me acknowledge the voice of the liar.  Helm me acknowledge my mistakes in honest and redeeming ways that reveal you are at work in me, to redeem, to save, to love.  Thank you Jesus.  Amen."

(It also ends with a free resource you can learn more about on the WONDERFUL COUNSELOR website tab.)
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This week, I was told by someone who has known me my entire life that...

1. I'm forming my own God.
2. That I don't really pay attention to God's words or hold them in my heart for them to change me. 
3. That I've come up with my own rules and beliefs that are radically different from any other Christian they’ve known.
4. That my actions don't line up with the Christian message.
5. That they’ve received many confirmations of these things about me, and that I give myself excuses for not bettering my behavior and changing my actions.

 
Those are hard words; and without God’s help, they would have great power to influence me to respond from guilt and shame, and would have great power to crush me.
 
And in fact, the words did hurt me deeply and brought some confusion.
 
They brought confusion because I did get upset in a situation.  I did end a conversation in anger and frustration.  And I haven’t been interested in reconnecting, so they sent an email to give opinion of me and my behaviors.
 
Was it deserved?  Was I wrong in my anger, in shutting down, and not being willing to engage any longer?
 
I turned to the Lord for counsel.  I prayed, and I asked God to give me a scripture that would give me wisdom and insight.  What was reasonable criticism, i.e. deserved?  Was there anything I needed to see about myself?  How was I to receive the harsh words?
 
Galatians 3:13 is what came... Christ redeemed us from the curse of the law by becoming a curse for us, for it is written: “Cursed is everyone who is hung on a pole.”
 
What was God telling me?  What is the “curse of the law?
 
First, Jesus took the curse I rightfully deserved. 
 
The curse of the law carries with it an expectation of perfection.  You cannot keep just one part of the law, but you must keep the entire law. James 2:10- For whoever keeps the whole law and yet stumbles at just one point is guilty of breaking all of it. 
 
The curse of the law is demanding.  Who is perfect?  No one!  Only Jesus!  Christ became a curse for me through His death on the cross, taking the curse expecting my perfection!   
 
I know I am not perfect; and praise God I do not have to be!  Jesus does not GUILT TRIP ME that I prove myself, or tell me I’m not living up to his standards.  That is not His tone of voice.  His corrections are gentle.  The Holy Spirit impresses upon me when I need to redirect and soften or handle a situation better or apologize, etc.

Also brought to mind were 2 situations that happened this week.  I was able to listen for extended time to 2 different people with deep burdens.  In those times, I heard clearly from the LORD and shared love from the Spirit and truth about who they were in Christ.  God was reminding me that I'm a good listener and that I will stay in difficult conversations to be a representative of Him.
 
So with scriptural guidance and through meditating on the promises and truths of God and reflections of who I am through His Spirit, I was clearly able to see that the cutting words weren’t from Him.  They weren’t for me to own. Hallelujah!!! 
 
In further prayer, I felt the Lord affirming that I was not to expect that I wouldn’t get upset in the situation that prompted the email.  I had righteous anger, and yes impatience, but I was rightly choosing not re-engage in the situation without healthy boundaries in place. 
 
The words sent by email were spoken in an ill manner without grace and were meant to accuse and control.  That is not the law I am under any longer!
 
The curse of the law comes to punish and hold to exacting standards and keep under control…
 
Galatians 3:23 Before the coming of this faith, we were held in custody under the law, locked up until the faith that was to come would be revealed. 24 So the law was our guardian until Christ came that we might be justified by faith. 25 Now that this faith has come, we are no longer under a guardian.
 
The law always points out what is wrong, Romans 7:7-9.
 
For the Christian, the law is no longer my accuser.  For Christians, the law is good, as it is to be used for redemptive purposes, not corrupt judgment. 

For the non-Christian, unfortunately, you are still under the curse of the law and the expectation on you is perfection!  But it doesn't have to end that way!
 
You can be set free from that law of condemnation by coming under the law of the Spirit…
 
If you want to be set free from the curse of the law... pray...
“Jesus, I don’t want to strive any longer.  I give up trying to be good enough for you, for me, or for anyone.  I want to be set free from the curse of the Law, from control and demands of others expectations.  Thank you for becoming the curse for me, for being slaughtered for my sins on the cross.  I receive healing in your Name Jesus, set me free from the law of sin and death.  Justify me in your sight through my faith in your saving grace.  Grant me soul peace. Raise me up to eternal life.  Amen.”

Those under Christ are no longer condemned! You are now under the Law of the Spirit who gives you life!!!  Jesus knows we are weak!  So He became our weakness!  He took our condemnation!
Romans 8:1-4 Therefore, there is now no condemnation for those who are in Christ Jesus, 2 because through Christ Jesus the law of the Spirit who gives life has set you free from the law of sin and death. 3 For what the law was powerless to do because it was weakened by the flesh, God did by sending his own Son in the likeness of sinful flesh to be a sin offering. And so he condemned sin in the flesh, 4 in order that the righteous requirement of the law might be fully met in us, who do not live according to the flesh but according to the Spirit.
    
Christ has come that we would no longer be under a guardian that demands perfection.  No longer under custody and locked up by an accuser!  Faith in Jesus brings a Good Father who lovingly corrects, offers promise of forgiveness, mercy, and grace and unconditional love!
 
Galatians 3   23 Before the coming of this faith, we were held in custody under the law, locked up until the faith that was to come would be revealed. 24 So the law was our guardian until Christ came that we might be justified by faith. 25 Now that this faith has come, we are no longer under a guardian. 26 So in Christ Jesus you are all children of God through faith, 27 for all of you who were baptized into Christ have clothed yourselves with Christ.
 
See His garments of purity upon you!  His voice is not harsh and condemning, accusatory and inflammatory!   His voice is one of a Good Shepherd who leads, guides, lovingly corrects, binds up, heals, strengthens, loves, is gracious, etc.
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Meditation Exercise- Here are some things to talk to God about, and evaluate about how you handle criticism...  Which ones speak to you?  Process the answers with God.  Speak your answers to God.  Admit where you are weak.  Admit what is hard.  Admit where you need to learn more about His love and mercy.

• When you are harshly criticized, how do you process it? 
• Do you just shut down immediately, refusing to assess the situation with God’s help?
• Are you able to separate yourself from the harsh tone and language of others?  Are you able to ask the Lord if there is any truth coming from the messenger (your loved one, your friend, your employer, your teacher, your coach, etc) , even if it comes in a hard and demanding way?
• Are you able to hear the LORD’s heart through His covenant of grace and mercy?  Are you able to hear His interpretation and assessment of situations? 
• Are you able to hear Him affirm you and show you how He is being formed in you?
• Are you able to hear words of correction and receive them as love from God meant for your good?
• Or do you perceive the voice of God have a demanding tone?  Do you have expectation of “living up” to God’s standards and laws?  When others talk to you in harsh ways do you think God sent them?
• Do you have a harsh way with others and expect perfection?  Do you expect others to meet your standards and if they don't you harshly criticize them?  If so, turn from that and ask God to heal you. 

 
Know this… Laws, rules, and demands to live up to standards of others have no power to impart life.  The only thing that laws and rules and demands for standards do is condemn and bring punishment. 
 
The curse of the law comes with punishment. But Christ has come to set you free!
 
God is a Good Father with a loving, gracious, and affirming voice.  Yes, sometimes there is a serious tone when correction is necessary, but it is meant for your good and to prosper your soul!  He has no expectation of perfection, but is merciful towards you and willing to transform your in His power through your reliance and confession that you need Him!  Christ is your greatest defender!!!

• Finish in prayer... If you have a hard time hearing God's voice as affirming, comforting, and gentle, tell Him. 
  • Example:  "Jesus I keep distant from you and others, because I think I'm a failure in your eyes and in eyes of others.  I am constantly thinking that I am not living up to the standards or expectations of you or others.  I do not handle criticism well; and don't know how to separate the voices of others from yours.  I have the voice of an accuser in my soul.  Please help me separate the voice of the liar from the voice of the Father.  Heal my soul.  Help me acknowledge the voice of the liar.  Help me acknowledge my mistakes in honest and redeeming ways that reveal you are at work in me, to redeem, to save, to love.  Thank you Jesus.  Amen."
• Finally, if there are words people have spoken or hurtful things they have done, judgments that have not been fair, redemptive, or have traumatized you... forgive.  Release that person to God.  Try praying something along these lines- "Jesus I need you to help me forgive.  I want to forgive because you have forgiven me.  I want to let the pain go.  I want to give it all to you to carry so it doesn't destroy me.  Though they have hurt me deeply, help me pray for them, and forgive as you God have forgiven me.  I let go Jesus; I let you take care of it.  I ask you help me heal and find joy, even in the loss or conflict.  Help me be like you by granting undeserved grace; and to love them by praying for them.  Show me where I am wrong and if I need to ask for forgiveness.  I choose not to destroy my family or others with my words or bitter actions, but to give you all of my hurt and believe you for healing and redemption. Amen.  Your kingdom come God, your will be done God, on earth as it is in Heaven.  Amen."

Romans 3: 21 But now God has shown us a way to be made right with him without keeping the requirements of the law, as was promised in the writings of Moses  and the prophets long ago. 22 We are made right with God by placing our faith in Jesus Christ. And this is true for everyone who believes, no matter who we are.

23 For everyone has sinned; we all fall short of God’s glorious standard. 24 Yet God, in his grace, freely makes us right in his sight. He did this through Christ Jesus when he freed us from the penalty for our sins. 25 For God presented Jesus as the sacrifice for sin. People are made right with God when they believe that Jesus sacrificed his life, shedding his blood. This sacrifice shows that God was being fair when he held back and did not punish those who sinned in times past, 26 for he was looking ahead and including them in what he would do in this present time. God did this to demonstrate his righteousness, for he himself is fair and just, and he makes sinners right in his sight when they believe in Jesus.

Give thanks for Jesus!  Be willing to go deeper with Wonderful Counselor!  Visit this tab on my website that tells you about a one hour session you can process in contemplative ways with Jesus via iaudio recording!
 
Isaiah 9:6- For to us a child is born,
    to us a son is given,
    and the government will be on his shoulders.
And he will be called
    Wonderful Counselor, Mighty God,
    Everlasting Father, Prince of Peace.